Random Life

2010 for most was one of, if not the, worst year of their lives.  All across the board we had very little to be happy about.  Political bullshit, economic paranoia, and random events that were less than favorable seemed to leave the same bad taste in everyone's mouth.  Everyone hopes that 2011 will be better and by all accounts, so do I.  My personal 2010 was a year consumed and wasted by my own stupidity.  I dropped the ball in 2010 or I would have been the exception to most of society and had a fairly prosperous and fun 2010.  Let's recap from the top.

Late 2009 (November) I got engaged.  What a stupid decision.  I knew it though.  I knew it was a stupid decision, I knew it wouldn't work, and I tried to talk myself into believing that it would.  I succeeded.  I convinced not only the people around me, but myself that it would work and was a rational idea.  I knew it was far from logical but tried to ignore that and be normal for once.  Thought maybe not everything in life had to make complete and total logical sense.  Thought there might, for a split second, be more to life than making the numbers add up correctly.  What I found, is that 2 and 2, no matter how much you want them to, will never equal 5.  So I paid for this stupid decision for 3/4 of 2010.  It was an economic blunder of seismic proportion relative to the income I had vs the debt I literally accumulated overnight.  I have written more on the outcome of how I paid it off and the methods behind all of the madness before so I won't rehash the details but just know, it was not fun.  Lots of work, very little play, lots of saving, no spending.  In the end though, I recovered with a few months left in the year and then took a deployment to make up for lost time. 

After the engagement recovery there wasn't much left for me to do.  Did a lot of reflecting.  I stress self reflection in most every blog.  The benefits of self reflection are immeasurable.  You cannot possibly have any idea where you are going in life till you understand where you have been.  I spent a couple days on the river and the lake this past year.  Definitely worth it's weight in gold.  Grabbed the kayak, the camera, just relaxed and took in life for a few hours.  Nothing more peaceful than being out on the river or lake and having nowhere to go.

In addition to the few days I spent kayaking back home, I spent a week in the mountains with the family.  Family vacations are awesome.  If you don't get to enjoy your family, you're missing out.  Spent some much missed time with the bro and rest of the family.  They are already talking beach this year which means I will definitely be there.  

2010 other than the lessons it taught me was a waste of my effing time.  Spent most of it doing nothing but recovering from the financial blunder that I will never forget.  Until I do something that trumps it twice over. 

2011 I have high expectations for.  Notice I didn't say hopes, I said expectations.  At the end of 2010, the last 4 months or so, life started to turn around.  I was out of the blunder, paid most of my debt off and starting towards a productive and prosperous new year.  So far that plan remains unchanged.  Before my birthday I should be financially stable enough to do w/e I want again.  I am going to transfer out of the military and back home as a reservist I think.  If all goes to plan I will be at Ohio University by the fall quarter 2011.  Can't spend anymore time in this comfort zone of inactivity.  I am to the point in my life where one good year could change my life.  One good internship, one good contact, one good stroke of luck (preparation meets opportunity) and I will be set.  This is what I've focused most of my life on; It's almost time to reap the benefits of such labors.

In a way I regret everything the military brought me.  In other ways, I will be sad to say goodbye to it.  The military allowed me to act on my emotions rather than numerical data and survive the consequences of such stupidity.  Had it not been for the military in that situation I would have been in deep crap for a long duration of time.  I met some good people and I've met some worthless people.  It's been a good learning experience, a two year journey that I won't soon forget, or wish to do again anytime soon. 

This hasn't been a lot of insightful information or even all that interesting to read.  Definitely fails by comparison to my previous end of the year rambles.  In conclusion I will leave you all with this.  Take the time to evaluate your mistakes.  Don't just realize "yeah that was a mistake" but know why you made it.  Understand the mechanics of where you went wrong and how it happened.  Replay the bad times in your life over and over again so you don't forget them.  If you forget where you've been, you might as well have never known.  My granddad told me recently to go do something while I was here, it would "take my mind off where I'm at".  I replied simply "I don't want to forget where I am, or what it feels like to be here".  I want to know, I want to be tormented by my mistakes or bad times so I remember them well enough to never be there again.  I'd rather be bitter about life and avoid mistakes than I would happy and ignorant enough to make the same mistakes twice.  It's been said, I've quoted it before, I'll quote it again.... Only a fool learns from his own mistakes when he could have learned from someone else's. 

For 2011 I wish you all peace and prosperity... if you find those, you will have a banner year of epic proportion.