Sunday, June 6, 2010

Dim Lights in Darker Rooms...

Posted on 9:04 PM in by hondaboy101


I guess the old saying holds true.  In a dark room even a candle shines brightly.  I’ve come to realize that is what life is for all of us.  Our own dark rooms.  Think about this.  Your life is a direct reflection of your surroundings or your “room” so to say.  If you surround yourself in a room that already has a source of light present, you have to either accept that you cannot produce any more light than what is currently there, or step up your game and shine brighter.  The opposite of this holds true.  If you surround yourself in a room that had very dim or maybe even no source of light, you won’t have to produce much light to be the brightest source in the room.  I’ve come to realize that some people surround themselves with dark rooms to that even their small flame burns brightly.  This outlook never did it for me.  Still doesn’t.  I want to be an underdog when I go in.  I want to know there are already key sources of light, figure out how they burn so bright, and figure out a way to burn brighter or produce the same amount of light with less energy.  All of which is forward progress on my part.  It would be incredibly easy for me to find a dark room and coast through life but that isn’t my place.  I am not much a leader but I’m also a horrible follower.  As much as I would like to just follow the blindness of other people I must know where the train is headed before I buy my ticket.

Recently I was insulted with an insult I know I have received before.  I was told that “I was simply blinded by your manipulation and it will never happen again.”  Not going to lie, I was a little taken back by this.  Not sure why but I was.  Hit home maybe?  Déjà vu?  Fairly sure it was because it didn’t make much sense.  Blinded by my manipulation?  I’ve realized one of two things regarding this phrase.  Either 1- certain people will never take accountability for their own actions and constantly blame other people for their struggle with life or 2- I really should become an evil dictator because I have enough charisma and persuasion that I could convince an Olympic runner that letting a dog gnaw off his legs would be a good career move.  One of those two must be absolute truth.  I am going to guess it’s the first one since I don’t feel that I possess the ability to do mind tricks like a Jedi.  Although, that would be awesome.

In the end I am still ridiculously amazed at how when surrounded by darkness people that are “dim lights” are so confident in their ability to make it and how great their life is going to be.  I guess it makes sense.  In a very screwed up way.  It has about as much logic as competing in the special Olympics just to feel better about your natural abilities.  Granted, you might dominate.  But what have you proven?  That you, a person with no physical or mental disabilities, is capable of beating all of those who have them? (hopefully).  At the end of the day you are still dead last in your own class.  I love it when people don’t care about that.  They stack the odds in their favor instead of learning how to be a better player.  I might finish in the middle of the pack, but I am running in my bracket group.   I refuse to accept the fact that “I can’t get/do better, so I will lower the competition in order to place higher”.   Bottom line, it’s not very becoming; in no way respectable and without question an easy way out.  

My final thoughts on the subject are simple.  You build an image in life which becomes the general perception of how people see you.  That perception means more than the reality of who you really are.  Image is everything.  Even Christ said it.  (1 Samuel 16:7)  Man is going to look at the outward appearance of you.  It doesn’t matter who you are, all that matters is how you are perceived.  It’s not fair and it isn’t right but that’s the way it is.  Life is seldom fair and even less right.  Since you can’t change it, you might as well figure out how it works and adjust your actions accordingly.  I know I would rather be perceived as someone who shot for greatness and fell short than someone who chose to do nothing but does it well.

brandon
0 comments

Friday, June 4, 2010

How Things Turned Out...

Posted on 5:57 AM in by hondaboy101

The last blog that I posted was all about reflection.  I took you through some of my own past just so you could see how it effected my future.  I preach reflection because it is the only time you will ever "know" if you were right or not.  There are no guarantees in life that you are going to make the right decision or think clearly about a situation you unexpectedly find yourself in.  Reflect on what you thought, what you did, and how it turned out.  In the end you will be smarter for it. Trust me on this one.  The only thing that separates the winners from the losers is the final outcome of a given situation.  

I promised you a "how it worked out" blog that basically lets you see where I was right and where I was wrong.  Some of this is a little personal but it's entirely worth the personal exploitation if it can be used to help you better yourself.  That being said, lets not waste anymore time...

Where I was right - 
I said I was externally motivated and that I also had a standard of life that I refused to live below.  That is still entirely correct.  Some of you may read this and think "oh, he is just spoiled and probably had everything handed to him and that's why he won't go below that standard".  That couldn't be farther from the truth.  I have worked for most everything I have ever had.  I like to work.  I like the feeling of coming home from a hard days work, whether that be mentally taxing of physically it doesn't matter.  I'm a small town guy, I like honest days pay for an honest days work.  But we are getting off topic here.  I still am incredibly motivated by external factors.  I really like stuff just the same as I liked it before the military.  Only now, I can buy more of it.  Doesn't mean I am blowing it all, in fact, I am actually saving up to build a house for when I am out in a few years.  Sounds like future planning right?  We will touch on that in a later blog.  For now, just know it's a good thing to do. 

The other examples I gave as "reasons" why I was going to join were "Experience", "College", and yet more "Experience".  So lets explain the different versions of experience first.  The first one was "The Experience" of joining the military, being a part of something bigger than I am, etc etc.  That definitely happened.  I got it and I still get it daily.  The other experience was job experience, something that everyone could use more of.  It only makes you more marketable in the long run by knowing how to do more than "the other guy".  In the end, that is what separates who gets the job and who doesn't in the interview room.  More on that in a later blog because that goes along with perception and we aren't ready for that one yet.  The last reason I gave was "College".  Now this one I was right and wrong about.  I have the ability to go to school but what I don't have an abundance of is free time to take classes.  That is a bit of a drag, not going to lie about it.  On the flipside though (everything has a flipside) I have gained about 35 credit hours in a Logistics degree since I joined.  Combine that with what I already had back home and I should have a "free degree" just from utilizing what I already had and what was freely given to me by completing mandatory training.  I am still counting this one as a "correct" moment for me simply because I got to go to school, just not in the way I figured.  Truth be told, I could go to school now but I don't have the mindset to spend all my time at work, school, and sleeping.  I joined the military for the "Experience" over the "Education".  When I am out, that will be a different story but while I am here, I want to get the most out of this as I can.  Locking myself in a dorm room and studying all my free time away is not the most ideal way of achieving that goal.  

So far I was correct in 4 out of 4 reasons why I joined.  You might be thinking, "it's no wonder he likes self reflection, it's just a way for him to blow his own horn".  That isn't true.  I was wrong but not where I expected to be.  The final part of the "why I joined" blog said that I didn't want to leave and that I would miss it, or at least I insinuated that fact.  Well, I do miss home in ways, it was never the homesick I imagined it being.  I never saw another place of residence becoming my "home".  That is exactly what my 12x15ft dorm has become.  It is mine.  My home and my life is at Charleston AFB, SC.  I get mad at people here just like I did in the valley.  I have fun with people here just like I did in the valley.  Everything has a flipside, this was no exception.  

Looking back, I had felt lead to join the military by a "higher power".  It was a series of events that changed who I was, who I am, and even more importantly, who I will become.  That is a blog entirely of it's own and will definitely be one worth reading.  The decision of me joining the military has been one of the best decisions I have ever made to this day.  It has impacted my life in such a way that even the people that told me not to join or that I would regret it now tell me "I would be an idiot for not putting in my 20 years and retiring here".  As the blog explaining the higher power will discuss in more detail, when you follow His plan, the worst thing that can happen is you end up happy.  

Summary of my decision is very simple.  I have everything I thought I would have, more opportunity than I could imagine, and a life that I enjoy living.  If I had my family here, I would never think twice about putting in my 20 years.  The key to winning poker is knowing how to play the hand you are dealt.  The same is true about the game of life and the key to happiness.  You don't always have to be dealt "pocket aces", but it sure does help when it happens.  

Brandon  ><>
0 comments

Thursday, June 3, 2010

One Month Before Basic Training...

Posted on 6:08 AM in by hondaboy101

I was doing some self reflection of my own and happened to stumble upon an old blog I had written about 30 days before I was to leave for basic training in Lackland TX. I will post the updated version of "how things turned out" later. For now, this is a prime example of some very beneficial self reflection on my part. I am telling you people, do this. Take time to reflect. You learn more from the past than you ever will the future.


So recently I have had a shit ton (it’s metric) of people ask me why I went to the service and others asking me if there are any ways that I can get out if I just don’t like it. This blog is dedicated to those people and maybe this will help ease the transition and/or answer some universal questions about “why” I joined the U.S.A.F.

First things first I guess. Why did I join? That seems to be a HUGE question on at least 9345398734 people’s minds. Well ladies and gentlemen that one is the easiest to answer. If you know me or have ever met me you know 2 things right off the bat. I make them blatantly obvious to those who know me as well as to those who do not.
1- I am extremely externally motivated. I like money. More than that I LOVE stuff. It takes money to buy stuff. Ask anyone with a job right now how “stable” their job is and they will probably laugh at you and say they have work till at least the end of the week and then it’s “iffy” from there. In case you are just oblivious to the world around you, we are NOT in a good situation when it comes to the financial markets of this country we call home. When some of the top economist gurus are saying “if you need money in the next 5 years, keep it out of the markets” you know it’s going to be one hell of a ride. If you guys want to stay at dead end jobs such as retail, customer service reps, etc… then by all means do it. For me, that wasn’t an option. I am going to be 22 years old and still working the same job an 18 yr old can come off the street and get. That is unacceptable to me. Always has been. Always will be. Am I above it? Fuck yes, I worked harder than that. I want a life worthy of living. A life that someone would WANT to share with me. Working for less than 15k a year? Definitely not in my definition of such a life.

2- College anyone? Have any of you guys priced the tuition rates at colleges these days? They are outrageous. Unless you are incredibly gifted smart and get in on scholarships *which are a pain in the ass even once you get them* you are going to be paying out the anus for tuition and books. The rate that I was going it would have taken me till I was 23 to have my 2 year degree then another 3 years to get my bachelors and cost me more than I could have possibly afforded and still sustain the lifestyle I live. So I was left with 2 options:

a. Reduce my lifestyle to the limits of which my school obligation would allow.
b. Forget about school and work for a living.
Obviously, neither of these are good options. So… I made a third option. THE MILITARY! Yeah, obviously not the most encouraged option by my peers but that is why I didn’t ask their opinion very often. Now some of you who are not familiar with the military thing might be wondering “how the hell is this going to help him by taking him away for 4 years?” That is a good question with an even better answer. The military will pay for me to go to school while I’m there in my free time. They will also transfer my AIT hours into college credits. What that means is this. I will go to basic (8.5 weeks) and then depending on what job I get (find out in basic) I will go to AIT somewhere in the states. (what state I end up going to depends on the job I get) after I get to AIT I will put in a few more weeks there before I am actually assigned a base to do my selected job. The base that I go to also depends on what job that I get. AIT is the equivalent of “on the job training”. The air force takes the hours I put into AIT and turns them into college credit via the CCAF (community college of the air force). They usually add up to be about 35-55 credit hours. That doesn’t sound too bad right? That’s because it’s not. If I were to pay for those hours even at WVNCC rates it would be over $4000 in tuition alone. Add in you books and time commuting and you will see this is a much better bargain.

3- Experience while I am in. When was the last time you got to travel the country/world and get paid for doing it? If you grew up in the valley and you stay here till you die you are an idiot. There is nothing here. It is a great place to retire and grow up but other than that it is more worthless than an amputee competing in a triathlon. There is so much out there to see, what is holding you from experiencing it?

4- Experience when I am out. Worth far more than when I am in. The military will give me preferential status in any gov’t job that I apply for. Think about that. Just because I served in the military I get preferential treatment in a job interview for a gov’t job. In addition to that they pay me to go to school once I am out of the military. So I am going to put in my 4 years and then I can go to school and get paid *rather well I might add* to go to school for 36 months of full time enrollment. That is a HUGE benefit to me. It means I can finish my degree I have, maybe start another one depending on what the AIT credits give me when I am active and then once I am inactive I can go back for another degree. I will be more qualified than most applicants without military preference. Add that into the equation and needless to say I am incredibly marketable.

Now, those were my reasons for going. Or at least a few of them off the top of my head. Now my reasons for not wanting to go are equally as simple. I have to leave. That’s a big one. Do I want to do it? No, of course not. Would I rather stay here and be worthless all my life? Even less than I want to leave. I have a girl here who I love and it rips me apart to think about saying goodbye for a couple months but I realize that in life you take the hand you are dealt and you play it. You don’t bitch and fuss about what cards you didn’t get, you simply take the hand you were dealt and play it the best way you know how. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t bother doing anything with my life and be content to act 17 forever. Seeing as how I do care and want to actually make my own life someday, you have to do what you have to do. There are all kinds of ways of doing things but this one just seemed to be the one I felt guided towards. Long story in that itself, maybe one day I will post it as well but not right now.

In conclusion to this I want to say that this choice was weighed out and thought about. I debated it with some people I trusted and asked their opinion. If I did not ask you it was simply because I didn’t know you or I didn’t think you were capable of giving a rational unbiased answer to a question that needed one. I look for the experience to be good and challenging. I look to come back a better person for it with a deeper understanding of “how life works”. I wish people would accept the fact that life happens and there is nothing you can do about it. This isn’t nearly as detrimental as a life threatening illness but you couldn’t prove that by the way people are acting. I am not going to change and I will be back when it’s over. Until then I will keep in contact when I can and don’t be offended if it takes me a while. I have priorities like everyone else. If you aren’t a “top priority” you only have yourself to blame for that.

It has occurred to me that people make decisions for one reason and one reason only in life. That is to get the most gain for the least effort required. That is simple logic. We comparative shop to get the most crap for our dollar and it is the same concept when making decisions about other things in life. For me, this was the most “gain” for the least amount of “effort” on my part. Some of you might be flipping out and saying “OMG it’s 4 years of your life how is that not a HUGE effort, blah blah blah”. When you say that, consider this. When unions used to run the valley most of them were under apprenticeships programs. The program meant you had to go through anywhere from 2-6 years of schooling after you got hired to do the job. It took that time before you actually made top wage or were considered “officially trained” for the job you were hired to do. If you move away and go to school you end up going for usually no less than 4 years. Then you come back or w/e and get a job. The point that I am making is that if I were going off to college and only coming home once every 3 months or so, nobody would be flipping out. If I was working out of town at a union job and doing the same *boilermakers are a PRIME example of this type of training and out of town work* people wouldn’t be flipping out as much. For some reason people just flip out when they hear the word “military”. I really want people to realize that. Realize the truth in it. Realize how short 4 years actually is in the grand scheme of things and if you had the option to better yourself as much as this is going to better me, if you had a shred of logic in your body, you would jump at the opportunity.
I want everyone to realize that I didn’t do this to escape nor did I do it to run. I did it for me. Because I know the man I am and the man I want to be are entirely different people. You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. I want nothing more than for everyone to accept and be happy with my decision to do this. I don’t need anyone to back me nor do I need anyone to tell me how proud or mad they are. I have enough of those. I have a few close friends, my family, and the most amazing girl that I’ve ever known. I hope to show them that nothing but good things will come from this.
0 comments

Reflection

Posted on 5:47 AM in by hondaboy101


There is nothing more clearly visible in anyone’s life than the past.  Some define it as “the future with the lights turned on”, probably because  it always makes you see things for what they actually were instead of what you thought it was at the time.  I try to live my life as if I can see how it is going to play out.  In essence, see the future before it happens.  It isn’t magical, it isn’t impossible and it sure as hell isn’t sorcery.  It is good old fashioned logic.  Logic and reasoning are two of the most underused and undervalued aspects of anyone’s life today.  People tend to forget about reasoning and throw logic to the wayside.  Psych majors do this more than anyone.  They have to justify the stupidity of others because they have been explained a few simple theories, that in theory, could cause the actions that we are referring to.  Logic and reasoning however, teach us an entirely “new” concept on this same set of variables.  Maybe you have heard of this before, it is a rather old saying.  If it looks like shit, and smells like shit, it probably is shit.  Don’t go around trying to justify what it isn’t, take it for what it is.  If something looks too good to be true, it usually is.  The same is true with the reversal.  If something looks like a catastrophe, it usually isn’t as bad as it appears.  A good rule of thumb is that nothing in life is ever as good or bad as it first appears to be.  Once you figure out how to look at life through a pair of realistic eyes you will see that nothing is ever as good or bad as it was once made out to be.  That is both reassuring and incredibly disappointing all at the same time. 
Take time for reflection.  It is the only way you will ever learn what you did right and wrong along your journey thus far.  Also remember that life is not a series of checkpoints you must make it through before you die.  Instead, look at it as a journey to the other side.  Everyone makes it to the other side, what’s important is how you get there, not what route that you took along the way.  People spend too much time on the complexities of the route they choose when in fact the only thing they actually have to do in order to “make it” to the other side is eat, drink, and sleep.  If you can do all of those and not freeze to death living on a park bench, you are going to finish the race called life.  If you run too fast you aren’t going to do anything except get there sooner and not see anything on your way.   As the old saying goes, take time to smell the roses.  If you don’t do it now, you probably never will.
0 comments
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)