Random Life

I guess the old saying holds true.  In a dark room even a candle shines brightly.  I’ve come to realize that is what life is for all of us.  Our own dark rooms.  Think about this.  Your life is a direct reflection of your surroundings or your “room” so to say.  If you surround yourself in a room that already has a source of light present, you have to either accept that you cannot produce any more light than what is currently there, or step up your game and shine brighter.  The opposite of this holds true.  If you surround yourself in a room that had very dim or maybe even no source of light, you won’t have to produce much light to be the brightest source in the room.  I’ve come to realize that some people surround themselves with dark rooms to that even their small flame burns brightly.  This outlook never did it for me.  Still doesn’t.  I want to be an underdog when I go in.  I want to know there are already key sources of light, figure out how they burn so bright, and figure out a way to burn brighter or produce the same amount of light with less energy.  All of which is forward progress on my part.  It would be incredibly easy for me to find a dark room and coast through life but that isn’t my place.  I am not much a leader but I’m also a horrible follower.  As much as I would like to just follow the blindness of other people I must know where the train is headed before I buy my ticket.

Recently I was insulted with an insult I know I have received before.  I was told that “I was simply blinded by your manipulation and it will never happen again.”  Not going to lie, I was a little taken back by this.  Not sure why but I was.  Hit home maybe?  Déjà vu?  Fairly sure it was because it didn’t make much sense.  Blinded by my manipulation?  I’ve realized one of two things regarding this phrase.  Either 1- certain people will never take accountability for their own actions and constantly blame other people for their struggle with life or 2- I really should become an evil dictator because I have enough charisma and persuasion that I could convince an Olympic runner that letting a dog gnaw off his legs would be a good career move.  One of those two must be absolute truth.  I am going to guess it’s the first one since I don’t feel that I possess the ability to do mind tricks like a Jedi.  Although, that would be awesome.

In the end I am still ridiculously amazed at how when surrounded by darkness people that are “dim lights” are so confident in their ability to make it and how great their life is going to be.  I guess it makes sense.  In a very screwed up way.  It has about as much logic as competing in the special Olympics just to feel better about your natural abilities.  Granted, you might dominate.  But what have you proven?  That you, a person with no physical or mental disabilities, is capable of beating all of those who have them? (hopefully).  At the end of the day you are still dead last in your own class.  I love it when people don’t care about that.  They stack the odds in their favor instead of learning how to be a better player.  I might finish in the middle of the pack, but I am running in my bracket group.   I refuse to accept the fact that “I can’t get/do better, so I will lower the competition in order to place higher”.   Bottom line, it’s not very becoming; in no way respectable and without question an easy way out.  

My final thoughts on the subject are simple.  You build an image in life which becomes the general perception of how people see you.  That perception means more than the reality of who you really are.  Image is everything.  Even Christ said it.  (1 Samuel 16:7)  Man is going to look at the outward appearance of you.  It doesn’t matter who you are, all that matters is how you are perceived.  It’s not fair and it isn’t right but that’s the way it is.  Life is seldom fair and even less right.  Since you can’t change it, you might as well figure out how it works and adjust your actions accordingly.  I know I would rather be perceived as someone who shot for greatness and fell short than someone who chose to do nothing but does it well.

brandon